62: Group Coaching in Hospitals: Healing Together- John Piazza DeDonatis, BSN, RN, NC-BC

62: Group Coaching in Hospitals: Healing Together- John Piazza DeDonatis, BSN, RN, NC-BC Highlights

Ah-Ha Moments

  • There may be a time you feel an ‘itch’ to do something else.  What would happen if you decided to follow it?
  • Do some research about Nurse Coaching, especially if you’re on the fence.  You deserve to look deeper into the things you are curious about
  • Group Coaching allows for more touch and connection with more humans
  • Try not to fall into the ‘advice trap’… instead listen, ask curious questions, allow the person to find their own answers… and ASK them if they want the information before you bombard them with advice or the resources
  • As an Integrative Nurse Coach, what do you call yourself?  How do you explain what you do to really connect with the person you’re speaking with?
  • It’s tough to set your price point… and you CAN do that. What are worth?  You’re priceless.
  • Keep your heart open for all the possibilities around you!  Say Yes to experiences, opportunities to work with clients you may not think you want, as they can become your client!
  • Check in with your Nurse Residency Programs as opportunities to implement Nurse Coaching skills and tools.
  • Tell people about what you’re doing, they will support you!

Links and Resources

INC’s in ACTION! Podcast 59: Passionately Growing as a Nurse Coach- Aaron Williams, BSN, RN, HWNC-BC

Integrative Nurse Coach Academy Integrative Nurse Coach Certificate Program

Michael Bungay Stainer on the Advice Trap and Staying Curious Just a Little Longer with Brene Brown

Lifestyle Transformation RN website

Email John at transformationrn@gmail.com

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62: Group Coaching in Hospitals: Healing Together- John Piazza DeDonatis, BSN, RN, NC-BC Transcript

Nicole Vienneau  00:00

Welcome, everyone, to the Integrative Nurse Coaches in ACTION! podcast. My name is Nicole Vienneau. I am your host, and I’m also a Board Certified Integrative Nurse Coach. And I’m excited because today we get to talk with someone all the way from Ripon, California. He is known as a lifestyle transformation Nurse.

And he’s a newer graduate of the Integrative Nurse Coach Academy, starting a new business. He got his first client, we’re excited for him. And we want to learn all about the ins and outs of becoming a new entrepreneur and new steps and journeys in the Nurse Coaching process. So everyone, let’s welcome John Piazza DeDonatis.

John DeDonatis  00:51

Thank you. That was great.

Nicole Vienneau  00:53

Yay! So I’m so glad we’re here together, sharing this time together. And I know our listeners are excited to hear a little bit about your story. We love to take a trip down history lane and learn a little bit about how you discovered Nursing.

John DeDonatis  01:09

Of course. Yeah, thank you for having me, again. I probably should have mentioned Ripon is where I grew up. I actually live in Portland, Oregon.

Nicole Vienneau  01:20

Oh, shoot! Yes!

John DeDonatis  01:23

But that’s okay. So yeah, I live in Portland, Oregon now with my wife and two kids. We have a one year old son named Paolo and three year old daughter named Vita. And so to go back to how I got into Nursing, I was graduating high school, and much like most kids, didn’t know what I wanted to do.

I assumed I’d probably go into the construction field, like my dad. My mom, my grandma motivated me to go to college, they helped me apply to different places, and just focus on going to college. And then I went through all the majors, and thought Nursing looks like the best one—  it sounds fun.

You’re on your feet. You’re meeting people. You’re not` stuck in an office. And I don’t know, it just felt meant to be. So I went for it. And despite the challenging classes, made it through.

Nicole Vienneau  02:30

Thank gosh you made it through.

John DeDonatis  02:32

Yeah, a lot of close calls, for sure. But my classmates definitely got me through it. A lot of group study sessions. And yeah, now I’ve been a Nurse for over nine years. And my first Nursing job was actually in the hospital I was born in, in Stockton, California.

Yeah, I had a connection from one of the sisters on campus of my university. And that’s how it all worked out. Started in Stockton, worked in San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Ventura. And now it seems like we’re here to stay in Portland for a while.

Nicole Vienneau  03:15

So, very cool. You know, our last… one of our last guests, Aaron Williams, he mentioned that he thought he was going to go into construction, too.

John DeDonatis  03:25

That’s right. I listened to that.

Nicole Vienneau  03:27

Yeah, I’ll definitely drop his podcast into our show notes for listeners out there. And then he realized, oh, Nursing. So some similarities there.

John DeDonatis  03:35

Yeah, very similar. Yeah, it was kind of all I knew, really. And it was fun. But at the time, actually, when I was graduating high school, it was the recession. And so the company my dad works for had to layoff like 75% of their crews. So it was also motivating factor was, well, maybe I should find something a little more promising. And just going through all the options, Nursing is what I settled on.

Nicole Vienneau  04:05

So tell us a little bit about your experience in Nursing. We heard about the places you located to, but what styles of Nursing have you been gravitating towards?

John DeDonatis  04:15

Yeah, so I’ve worked in five different hospitals. And my first position was quite the wild ride at St. Josephs in Stockton. I was float pool as a new grad. And it was float pool, the entire hospital. So like, you know, six or so different med surg, then I got trained in emergency, and three different ICUs, then NICU.

So we floated everywhere. It ended up being a lot of emergency department floats, which I liked. Ended up… it was intimidating at first, but it ended up being really fun. And so I worked emergency in Ventura, as well. That was like my side job while I was working float pool in Santa Barbara. So I’ve gotten to see a little bit of everything.

And especially while I was in Santa Barbara, basically I got invited to be relief supervisor. So I was house supervisor like, two days a week for two or three years. And so you know, that involves administration, and then also rounding on every single unit in the hospital. And that was kind of the time when I felt like there was something more for me.

That was such a great opportunity, and I really enjoyed it, but for some reason, I just had this itch to do something else. And I didn’t know if that was going to be in Nursing or just something totally different. But that was about four years ago now, a little over like my five year Nursing point. And actually here while I was in Portland, I met a travel Nurse.

And she was telling me, oh, I’m going to move to Italy. I’m doing this like Nurse Coaching thing where it can take clients just anywhere virtually. Like, what is that? Like, that just doesn’t sound doable. And so I kind of started researching it to see if it was legitimate. And if you could actually make money doing it. And if people were interested in paying for that.

As I learned more and more about it, about it being health coaching from an experienced Nurse, it made sense. And it also clicked, like, I think this is what I want to do. Like what I’ve been wanting—  to reach people on that deeper level, rather than just medication in the hospital, and the little bits of education that we may give, that may not be super well received.

So I went ahead and gave INCA a call to learn more about the program. And I just dove into it, despite us moving into a new house, having a baby on the way and a toddler. I thought it’s… I just felt like it was now or never. So I started the program and made it through. And here we are.

Nicole Vienneau  07:38

And here we are. Yeah, I mean, I really appreciate your courage. And you know, just saying, okay, this is what I need to do. I really am noticing that I think I am ready for more. I think I’m made for more. And then making that choice, like, hey, okay, yes, I have a one year old. Yes, I got a new baby. Right? And yes, I’m saying yes to myself and wanting to expand my horizons and move into a new way of practicing Nursing.

John DeDonatis  08:12

Exactly.

Nicole Vienneau  08:13

Yeah. So tell us one thing that you really appreciated or an aha moment or something related to the actual training—  the Integrative Nurse Coach Academy, Nurse Coach certificate program.

John DeDonatis  08:27

Yeah. So I think where it hit home for me was during practicum, having our group coaching sessions, like our triad where we’d have two other classmates or we’d all coach each other. That’s where I really felt like it not only came natural to me, but I enjoyed it. And I feel like I’ve always worked on listening to people well, for some reason, and just wanting to learn more about them.

And not necessarily offering advice right away. Like, that was a aha moment, actually. The advice trap, you know, hearing somebody struggle and then wanting to, right away, just fix the problem rather than digging deeper, asking more questions and maybe guiding them to creating a goal and finding a solution. But yeah, the group coaching and practicum, it was just where it really sunk in. And it felt like, okay, I think I can do this and I’m enjoying it.

Nicole Vienneau  09:41

And not only can you do it, but you’re actually really enjoying it too.

John DeDonatis  09:47

Yeah. And going back to that advice trap portion, that was actually from… we learned about Michael Bungay Stanier. He did this interview with Brene Brown. And he had mentioned the advice trap. And he kind of led you through this strategy, in a way, of coaching people. And it was basically just continuing to dig deeper.

Like once you wanted to offer that advice, or fix their problem, ask another question. Like, okay, here’s the challenge, but what else is coming up? What else are you challenging? What else are you having difficulty with? And I just felt like that was pretty profound.

Because just nobody does that, you know? It’s like you either pretend like nothing’s wrong in the first place, or if you do share an honest struggle, somebody might give you sort of a quick answer in response.

Nicole Vienneau  10:53

Yeah, it’s so much different when you can go deeper, instead of wider, right? Because you can go wider, when you go deeper, you’re actually narrowing things down, instead of going out wider. And I also really appreciate, you know, there’s girlfriend… I call it girlfriend connections, right?

Where you’re chatting, you’re having a glass of wine, and you know, you’re talking about things, and it stays really surface. And you might get a response and like you say, a quick response, and then somebody wants to fix you right away.

Now, Nurse Coaching, and coaching, health coaching in general, I mean, we’re trying to avoid fixing people. We’d rather they fix themselves, because they have the knowledge and the wisdom to be able to do that. And we’re trusting them to… trusting they have the wisdom. Have you found any barriers to that? As you’ve been exploring coaching?

John DeDonatis  11:52

Definitely. Yeah, especially as my passion is a food as medicine approach. So I’m always learning about different research studies that could be so beneficial to somebody that I’m coaching, and I just want to share so badly like, have you tried this? Like this study really had great results. And eventually, I might share that with them.

But it’s after the fact, like after I’ve dug deep, and I feel like it’s appropriate, I’ll share like, an article or a study or even like a podcast that went into it. But it’s really hard. It seems like it’s just our natural response to offer that advice. And you feel like that’s what they want. And maybe it is, maybe they’re at a loss, and they do just want you to tell them what to try.

But as hard as it is for you and them, it’s so much more beneficial to get granular. And dig that up, help them dig that up to where they then just find their own solution. And then together, of course, we make a little goal, small realistic goal, of course, to reach their ultimate health goal, or just life goal in general.

Nicole Vienneau  13:21

Yeah, it’s hard for us as Nurses who are conditioned, and we have been taught that we know the things. And that we should give that information to the person we’re talking to. And now having to step aside from that, that we may know the things, and now we have to hold back on some of the things sometimes, because it may not be appropriate, like you said, or it may be appropriate.

And so us trying to find that fine line and knowing ourselves, knowing our clients, digging deep. And then you know, asking do they even want that resource? Maybe they don’t even want it. Right?

John DeDonatis  14:00

Yeah, definitely. Asking is big. And I think it might just stem from our science training. You know, since schooling, it’s like, especially in Nursing training, we have these algorithms where it’s like the patient has these symptoms, they need this treatment for it, you know, whether it’s a medication or some sort of other modality. So that’s just our instinct to offer that fix. So it’s such a different approach from bedside Nursing. And it takes work for sure.

Nicole Vienneau  14:36

Yeah. And so what’s one benefit that you’ve seen in yourself or with your clients since you’ve discovered this?

John DeDonatis  14:43

Myself? Being a lot more intentional and reflective, you know, it’s been a stressful couple years. Not just with having babies around, as enjoyable as that is at times, But also, we had a big move and then moved into a house. And we’re just doing a lot of work. So a stressful season.

And for me just to take that time to reflect, and also tap into mindfulness in general, which is what I learned also, through the program. It’s just been a really good reset for me. And also just learning how to set small goals for myself. You know, so rather than saying, okay, I’ve been stressed out, I need to exercise more to find that relief.

And one thing I always tell my wife every year is like, I want to get stronger this year. Like, I do plenty of like running and cycling, but I want to actually get strong, mainly to prevent injury, like protect my back. But she’s like you say that every year. So I’m like, okay, but I’m actually doing it this year. And now I feel like I’m better equipped with the tools of setting a smart goal.

You know, starting small, measurable, make it time sensitive, like, okay, next week, I’m going to take two mornings, and do a 20 minute workout, like before work. So that’s been really beneficial as well, like setting those little goals. And just reflecting on how things have been.

Nicole Vienneau  16:35

I love that. So, reflection, mindfulness, smart, small, achievable, realistic goals.

John DeDonatis  16:43

Exactly.

Nicole Vienneau  16:45

And then your wife calling you out on that one.

John DeDonatis  16:47

Yeah, she did. That’s great. Yeah, she holds me accountable. And she checks in with me as well. Which is really good. She’s helped me a lot this past year with not only my schooling, but now the business. Like, she helped me with the website, and creating the logo. And I actually made it this goal to have a booth at our neighborhood street fair.

And that was kind of like my… I’m definitely a procrastinator, so I needed that in order to finish everything. Like, okay, before the street fair, I need to have my website, business cards, logo, a banner dialed in. Otherwise, not going to be you know, legitimate. So we finished everything, thanks to her.

And the street fair was an experience. You know, I had my elevator speech in my head sort of, and I definitely had to tweak it throughout the day. I was there from nine to six and talked to so many people about Nurse Coaching, explaining what it was and specifically what I do. And learning how it hit people and adjusting how I explained it and kind of shortening it in a way. It was a good experience.

Nicole Vienneau  18:21

Oh, how cool. How many people do you think you talked to?

John DeDonatis  18:24

Oh, geez, probably close to 50.

Nicole Vienneau  18:29

Nice.

John DeDonatis  18:29

Because, yeah, because I had like, about 30 people actually put their info on my list, little signup sheet. And I definitely talked to more than contacts that I got.

Nicole Vienneau  18:42

Well, congratulations!

John DeDonatis  18:43

Thanks! Yeah, I just… I thought if I can get one or two clients out of this, that would be awesome. But more so just get the word out. That was my goal in the first place was to try to reach my community, and try to help people before they got to the hospital, of course, but then also just really thrive in general. You know, people may not be sick or need medical attention, but they may also be able to function a lot better. And I would just really love to help people with that.

Nicole Vienneau  19:23

Oh, that is really amazing. It is fascinating. And you and I were talking about this before we clicked record. But you know, the way in which we have to try to describe what it is that we do, you know, and make it make sense for the person listening to it. I mean, that’s the bottom line.

What’s in it for me as I listened to your description, right? Yeah, so do you remember what really hit home for a few people? Do you remember what you said? That you can share?

John DeDonatis  19:55

Yeah, so I had my logo on a banner, and then I had a question… or no, actually, it wasn’t a question. I had a humanist approach to your health. So people would ask, what is that? So I said, I’m a Nurse Coach. And I work at St. Vincent’s, I’m an experienced Nurse doing health and wellness coaching as a Board Certified Nurse Coach.

Because initially, it was like, oh, I’m a Nurse Coach, and they assumed, oh, you coach Nurses. So that’s where the title was a little misleading, and why I settled on…  and actually really liked the title of lifestyle transformation Nurse. Because I still wanted to keep the Nurse title in the name, because I’m still Nursing.

And I feel like there’s also a credibility piece to that, and a trust aspect as well. So I kept Nurse, and then the goal, of course, is transforming your lifestyle in some way. So I went with lifestyle transformation Nurse. And people would ask about that, too. So I explained it as basically, I want to know, your story.

I want to get to know your lifestyle, and the specifics of what that is. So what are you eating on a daily basis? What are your activity levels, your stress levels? What do you do for a living? How is your work life movement?

So after I explained how I want to learn about every aspect of your health, and see where’s that opportunity for growth, and then, of course, when we dial in on that, making goals together, and ultimately, you being the driver for the change, and me being a partner with you on that journey.

Nicole Vienneau  22:04

And then people were saying?

John DeDonatis  22:06

And people were saying, oh, that sounds great. We really need that. And a lot of people… yeah, they were saying, oh, this is what healthcare needs. They were super appreciative of it, and supportive of it. But they also seem like they may  not necessarily think it was something they needed.

So I had some people saying, oh, this is what my son needs, or like, oh, my aunt is really struggling with this, I need to hook you up with her. And so everybody else. Yeah. And I was like, well, you know, even if you’re not specifically struggling with something, it’s really nice to have this sort of comprehensive diagnostic check where like, I have you fill out this health assessment tool to serve as a starting point, and stuff comes up.

And even though you feel like you’re doing okay with your health, it’s largely preventative care that we need. So it might be worth a try. And I explained how a lot of times people start with super smart, small goals such as like just wanting to drink more water, or something like that, and it just blossoms into this huge lifestyle change in a totally different direction as we begin.

Nicole Vienneau  23:46

I love this. I love how you just said, you know what, I’m going to go… I’m going to go to my local, first of all, serving your local community. So kudos to that. Saying, yes, I’m just gonna serve here, where I am, right in this place. And then showing up, never having done a street fair or had a booth anywhere.

You’re just like, okay, this is what I think I need, I’m not sure, but I’m going to give it a shot, and see what happens. And I’m gonna talk to people. And I really appreciated that whole scenario. You know, maybe people don’t know what Nurse Coaches do.

Well, we know that. We’re working towards that, we’re working towards that. And yet, it still brought curiosity. So people were like, well, what is that? Tell me more about that. And that gives us an opportunity to share, oh, this is what… this is how it will benefit you.

And this is what some of my other clients do, or, you know, whatever the story is that we want to share. But it’s an opportunity that has opened, that you created to open up the conversation and to start having conversations where you live, work and play, right?

John DeDonatis  24:54

Yeah, it was a good experience for sure. A lot of people… another topic definitely was, oh, does my insurance cover this? And, you know, mainly said for the most part, probably not. But it’s getting there. And I found an avenue where people could probably use like a health savings account or flex spending account to cover like health coaching.

So that was what I shared with people, to try to get reimbursement in that way. If the cost is a barrier, which I really struggle with that as well, you know, thinking about what, I guess, clientele or what group of folks I want to be serving. You know, I don’t want it to just be the people that can afford it, no problem.

So finding those ways to reach everybody. It’s a struggle, but that’s been something I’ve been working with somebody on who I actually met from the street fair. She really wants to start, she has goals to eat better, lose weight. She just got diagnosed pre-diabetic. And I just feel like it’s so meant to be for me to start with her like right now. But it just didn’t fit her monthly budget. And so we’re looking into her getting reimbursement from her health savings account.

Nicole Vienneau  26:23

Yeah, that’s great. And also meeting people where they are. I know fellow Nurse coaches who, you know, do have some potentially pro bono clients that they fit into their schedule. And then they have the paying clients kind of, you know, you’re almost like, giving a little bit from here, taking a little bit from there to support.

You know, and some Nurse coaches use sliding scales for people if that fits into their own way of doing business, right? We all have to, you know, I always say we all have to buy some toilet paper, so we need to get paid to do what we’re doing, right? So there’s that. And then yeah, we can use our health savings account in some mechanism, and some ways, and I actually have that with my own business, that you can use health savings accounts.

John DeDonatis  27:18

That’s great. Yeah, I’ll definitely be following up with her, and mentioning that to folks. Yeah, it’s a tough balance of like, you know, setting your price point. And sliding scale is helpful with that, for sure. But that being said, what would the minimum be, you know? And especially just getting started. I have been offering, like, first session free, and, you know, meet and greet.

I feel like I do just need to get myself out there. But then there’s that side where it’s like, okay, I also need to be compensated, as well. And I listened to this actually in a INCA podcast, about setting your price for what you feel your worth is.

And also, I think the analogy was, if people are paying a certain amount, then they’ll… I forgot how it was explained, but it was like, in a way, when they’re paying more for it, they expect more, and there’s that accountability piece where, okay, I’m paying for this, I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna work hard at it. But yeah, the pricing, it’s tough.

Nicole Vienneau  28:44

Yeah, I call it the skin in the game, right? When you’re paying for something, you definitely are showing up for your sessions, you’re definitely, you know, doing the work behind the scenes, helping yourself, because you paid some money. It’s kind of like when you, you know, if you’re gonna be paying a mortgage payment, you know you have some risks associated if you don’t pay, right, and when you pay, you have a house to live in.

So it’s kind of the same principle, I feel. Now I definitely have some pro bono clients, and the only time that I have felt really, really great with the pro bono clients and feeling my worth and their worth, you know, all of that kind of coupled into one, to feel like it’s a synergistic kind of feeling, is when that person is energetically putting in as much as I’m putting in, you know.

So maybe they are not able to pay, but they are so participatory. They are so engaged. They are with you every step of the way. And so they’re paying with that energy. Now, I’m not saying that everybody can do that right? We also need to be compensated for the amount of education we have, the amount of skill we have, the amount of experience we have.

But there are those times when you really want to work with someone, and you feel that connection, and you see somebody who’s like, oh, they really cannot afford that. They really cannot. And yet they need it so much. So, you know, I selectively have clients like that, who I feel are that.

And at the same time, if that person, you know, we make an agreement, and if that person is not really holding up their end of the bargain, of course, we’re having that discussion. Like, what’s going on? Let’s talk about this, of course, we’re having this coaching conversation. It’s not just cut and dry, right? Sometimes things happen, are happening.

But you know, if they’re not willing to put in as much energy as I am, then it starts to build that resentment. I’m like well I’m giving you, you know, I’m giving all I got, and you’re not giving what you can give, or you know, what is going on?

So, and those… I’ve learned from that, like, oh, well, that wasn’t a good decision, sometimes, too, you know. And I think this is part of our journey of learning what we’re willing to do and what we’re not willing to do, and going with our hearts on some things, going with our guts on other things, going with our minds on other things, you know, just exploring what we think.

John DeDonatis  31:19

Yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Vienneau  31:21

It is definitely exploration. Okay, so this is your first year as a new entrepreneur, tell us a few challenges that you’ve overcome.

John DeDonatis  31:33

Yeah, I never really thought I would be here, honestly. So just following that organic growth that happened ever since I heard about Nurse Coaching and started the program. You know, when I was getting my clients for the practicum, my coaching sessions, and I told myself the whole time that I didn’t really want to be doing this in the hospital setting, I wanted to focus on reaching the community.

And specifically not working with Nurses. Like I wanted to work with different people, because I’m around Nurses all day when I work, you know. But despite all of that, I told my manager about Nurse Coaching, and I told her, I needed some group sessions to do. And she invited me to a staff meeting, you know, to get my required group coaching in.

And ever since—  so I did two staff meetings for my practicum—  and ever since, I’ve been coaching in our hospital—  different departments, staff meetings. And our CNO has been so supportive, along with my manager. And they’ve been telling other managers about what I’ve been doing and how the staff are affected by it.

And initially, it was like, okay, this will be a cool opportunity to help people with their individual health, you know, set some goals. But what we found was, it was this amazing opportunity for team bonding, because we’re so busy on the floor, and rarely take breaks at the same time. So we don’t get that chance to learn about each other.

So when we created this vulnerable space in this coaching session, we heard about each other’s struggles and what we wanted out of life, and then making these goals, and people kind of recommending different things, and then checking in on each other. You know, they’re holding each other accountable outside of the meeting.

It was just like this unexpected benefit, where it’s kind of what healthcare and just working in a hospital is missing. So it’s been pretty amazing. And I’ve actually really been loving it. And now, it’s not just free, I actually get to charge for it which is cool, too.

Nicole Vienneau  34:21

That’s very cool. And the ripple effect that you’re having, because you’re being… you’re getting known as oh, we tried this one thing, your Nurse, first of all, your Nurse manager saw the benefit of it, and took a chance and said okay, let’s do it, let’s try it, let’s see what’s going on. Let’s see how we can help our fellow employees, right?

Our fellow humans. And then other people started talking about it, and now people are asking for you. And it’s funny how you said, oh, well, I didn’t really want to work with this group. But here I am doing it anyways. Right?

John DeDonatis  34:57

Yeah, people asked me specifically, they’re like, oh, so you’re going to coach me in the hospital? And like, I actually don’t really want to do that. I want to just get out there and meet other people. But it just happens so naturally. And it felt meant to be because my manager was actually working on her final project for her Master’s, and her topic was new grad resiliency.

And she was creating this clinical academy for our new grads. And you know, it was largely skill based and everything to make sure they’re competent. But she was missing this other side that she didn’t know quite what she wanted to do. But when I came to her, it was like, this is what we need. So ever since, I’ve been doing the clinical academy every few months or so when we get a new cohort of new grads and new hires in general.

And it just creates this humanist, personal side to training, not just like learning how to use our equipment or policies and protocols. And then they just feel a part of this community from the get go. It kind of sets the tone for our department culture. And now other department cultures.

Nicole Vienneau  36:26

Yeah. So good. Yeah, so good. It’s interesting, because I’m part of something very similar here in my city in Tucson, Arizona, and I go to a hospital organization, and I’m part of their new grad program, too as a Nurse Coach, yeah. And, you know, you you hit the nail on the head, I mean, we could sit up here or sit, you know, in front of a classroom and blah, blah, you know, the talking head kind of thing.

Yes, you must do it like this. And here’s how you work this machine. And here’s how, you know, you can assess and do all that stuff. And then we’re always missing the humanistic side of things, which is what you said, the humanist… like, we’re all humans here. And we have other needs that also need to be acknowledged, like how scary it is to go out on a unit, and how you are faced with death and dying.

Or you’re faced with Nurses who have been working there for years and seem to know everything, and you’d feel like you know nothing, and how that can impact you. And yeah, gathering together to talk about those fears and those learnings, or those successes, too, are just very, very uplifting, even if it’s difficult things to talk about, right? They really just support the Nurses all around.

John DeDonatis  37:51

Yeah, definitely. Depending on the group, it can be pretty surface level. So I’ve been starting to share examples of when people dig deep, and try to get to the point where they’re uncomfortable sharing something. But I explained like this is where growth really happens, when we are vulnerable and share something we’re really struggling with.

Because not only do we benefit by sharing it, but other people in the room will benefit from it by knowing that they’re not alone, and then hear about different strategies that may work for them. And it’s just… it’s a collective way of healing.

Nicole Vienneau  38:41

So good. Yeah, so good. I think we spoke a little bit about barriers earlier, and, you know, we’re kind of conditioned as a society to not share, you know, to not share the difficult things or to stay on the surface. Maybe we don’t want to show emotion, maybe we don’t want to share that, you know, because someone would think we’re vulnerable or that we don’t know something.

And yet it is such a human shared experience. We’ve all felt like that. Yeah, and creating these safe spaces, like we’re doing, is really important, to show that we are showing up for each other, and it is difficult to share something that is on your heart like that. And at the same time, it does help someone else because they’re listening to you and they’re supporting you with their energy as they listen, and it is healing all around.

John DeDonatis  39:38

Definitely. Yeah, I think it has been great for the new grads and new hires, especially, because, you know, we’re moving away from it, but there’s definitely been that Nurses eat their young mentality. And it’s like, especially just starting out, like we have to be strong.

We can’t be afraid of anything. We kind of have to pretend like we know it all, in a way. But it just… it’s a great start for them to feel like they’re able to ask questions, and they’re able to show weakness. So it’s just been pretty profound.

Nicole Vienneau  40:17

Well, thanks for bringing that up. That’s a huge success and in a new entrepreneurs world, right?

John DeDonatis  40:23

Yeah. I’d love to learn more about what you guys are doing as well in your neck of the woods.

Nicole Vienneau  40:29

Yeah, definitely. We can take it, take it offline, or, yeah, yeah. But, you know, that’s what I love about these podcasts, is we get to share a little snippet of something that we’re doing in our communities. And hopefully it sparks our listeners. Listeners out there, these are opportunities for us to really make a positive effect in the communities in which we’re serving. Yeah. So how can we find you if we’re looking for you? Tell us a little bit about that.

John DeDonatis  40:58

Yeah. So my website right now is the best way. It’s lifestyletransformationrn.

Nicole Vienneau  41:08

lifestyletransformationrn.com.

John DeDonatis  41:11

Right. Yup. And my email is fine as well. transformationrn@gmail.com.

Nicole Vienneau  41:19

Cool. Yeah, we’ll definitely share these links in the show notes and how to… for people to contact you, John.

John DeDonatis  41:26

Yeah, it’s still a new question for me. I haven’t shared my website with many people, so thanks for asking.

Nicole Vienneau  41:34

You just shared it with all our listeners, so there you go!

John DeDonatis  41:39

Yeah, it was, I guess, a little tricky to get a domain. That was half the battle. But my title, lifestyle transformation Nurse, and then I just went with lifestyle transformation RN, to be a little shorter, I guess. And then I’ll have a LinkedIn as well. But I have not been in social media world. I have to probably start that. So stay tuned on that. But I’ve never…

Nicole Vienneau  42:15

I have to ask: do you? Do you have to start social media?

John DeDonatis  42:20

I don’t know. Maybe not. I am trying to not start social media. But I guess we’ll just see what people want and if I do need to go that route, but hopefully not. I feel like I’m trying to hustle in the community, just sort of word of mouth. But we’ll see if that’s enough.

Nicole Vienneau  42:46

Yeah, I truly believe that it can be, because you are trying to just… you’re staying in your community, the people who know you, your word will get out. You know, some people don’t want to be on social media. I’ve had conversations with plenty of Nurses and just other people in general that are not on social media.

And then some that want to get on social media, but just have never had the chance or never… or are nervous about it or just don’t know. I mean, there’s so many avenues in which we can get out there and reach people. So I always say just do what’s on your heart. Yes. And speaking of what’s on your heart, we love to ask the question, John, what is on your heart that you’d like to share with our listeners today?

John DeDonatis  43:34

It’s a great question. I guess if I’m trying to be motivating or influential to people listening, I would say just continue to ask yourself, not only if you’re happy, but if you have meaning, if what you’re doing is meaningful to you. That’s kind of one of the things that healthcare in general, during this shift that we’re having, I feel like is lacking.

The staff just don’t feel valued. So I would say to the listeners, try to just follow your heart and do what makes you feel valued. Whether it is getting into Nurse Coaching and finding your niche or something else. Just do what makes you feel alive. I’m trying to get there myself.

Nicole Vienneau  44:32

Yes. Do what makes you come alive.

John DeDonatis  44:36

Yeah. Once I heard, live where your heart beats, but I feel like more specifically, do what makes your heart beat.

Nicole Vienneau  44:46

Hmm. I love that, the imagery.

John DeDonatis  44:49

And everything else will fall into place.

Nicole Vienneau  44:52

Yes, yes. Give us some of that for sure. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for sharing what’s on your heart.

John DeDonatis  44:59

Of course.

Nicole Vienneau  45:01

Okay, now we have some fun questions… well, they’re all fun questions, you know, when you’re really talking about stuff that we really love. So it’s fun to talk about this. But some questions maybe you don’t have to think so hard on, right? So here’s one: California or Oregon?

John DeDonatis  45:18

Oh, geez. I spent the last couple of years trying to convert to being an Oregonian. I feel like there’s such a backlash here towards Californians. Gosh, I love being here. Like Oregon is amazing. It’s been super fun exploring the different parts, and the people are so down to earth.

California is just so vast, you know, like, I grew up in Northern California, Central Valley, Bay Area, and then lived in kind of the border of Southern California, like Santa Barbara, for a few years. And they’re so different. Like, the people are different. So hard to choose, like, I value both. But for now, I’m gonna go with Oregon, just because that’s where I’m at. That’s where I’ve been enjoying lately. Yeah, I’ll say Oregon.

Nicole Vienneau  46:21

Oregon. Oregon for the win. Well, there is another thing called “and”. California and Oregon.

John DeDonatis  46:27

I know, I’m really bad at that. I can’t pick favorites. That’s another thing my wife calls me out on. It’s like, when she asks me what’s your favorite? Or like, what do you like most? Or if she’s asking me, you like this outfit, or this one? I’m like, well, this one is good in this way. And then this one, it’s like functional and I can neve… I can never pick one. You really asked a great question there.

Nicole Vienneau  46:57

With your wife, you’re just like, you look beautiful in all of them, so…

John DeDonatis  47:01

Definitely. That’s always the truth.

Nicole Vienneau  47:04

It is the truth. It’s totally the truth. Okay, here’s one that has numerous answers. So you get to pick whatever word that you resonate with the most. So, Integrative Nurse Coaches in ACTION! Action is an acronym. Some of the key things for elements of Nurse Coaching. Authentic, curious, truthful, inspiring, open, nurturing. Authentic, curious, truthful, inspiring, open and nurturing.

John DeDonatis  47:43

They’re all so good. And that’s a lot more choices than California and Oregon. But honestly, I have to go with curious because I’ve been so curious lately, just on different things. But also, I feel like especially with my clients, when they are more curious, that’s where changes happen. And that will lead to being open. So open, as well. You have to be open to explore the curiosity. But yeah, that’s a good one.

Nicole Vienneau  48:20

Awesome. Yes. Yeah, we can do “and”. Authentic and curious and truthful and open and nurturing.

John DeDonatis  48:30

Yeah, yeah. I never realized ACTION was an acronym until I listened to Aaron’s podcast, but that was good.

Nicole Vienneau  48:39

Yeah, yeah. I enjoyed kind of figuring that all out. And it’s had input from many Nurses, Nurse coaches around the world, just kind of which ones stand out for you the most? So, that’s good.

John DeDonatis  48:52

You picked good ones to go along with them.

Nicole Vienneau  48:55

Awesome. Well, thank you. And thank you so much for being on the Integrative Nurse Coaches in ACTION! podcast today.

John DeDonatis  49:01

Yeah. Thank you for having me. And thanks, everybody, for listening. I hope it was not only interesting, but inspiring. And I wish you all the best.

John Piazza DeDonatis RN, NC-BC

 

John was raised in Ripon, CA (the Central Valley of California) and graduated from Dominican University just north of San Francisco. He’s been Nursing for about ten years in all sorts of departments including Emergency, Critical Care, and House Supervisor, and has worked for 5 different Hospitals. Currently, he works on a Step-Down Unit in Portland, Oregon while starting his Nurse Coaching business. 

 

He lives with his beautiful, hard-working, loving wife (who has helped tremendously with getting his Nurse Coaching business started) and their 3 year old daughter, 1 year old son, and their Dachshund named Chili. He enjoys hiking and picnics in the park with the family and mountain biking and playing soccer on Sundays.

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