From Patient to Purpose: A Nurse Coach’s Mission to Transform Organ Donation Support-Taylor Byrer BSN, RN, NC-BC

From Patient to Purpose: A Nurse Coach’s Mission to Transform Organ Donation Support-Taylor Byrer BSN, RN, NC-BC Transcript

Nicole Vienneau  00:00

Welcome, everyone, to the Integrative Nurse Coaches in ACTION! podcast. My name is Nicole Vienneau. I am your host, and I’m also a board certified Integrative Nurse Coach coming to you from Tucson, Arizona. And today we have a really unique guest coming to us today. 

This is a newer Integrative Nurse Coach graduate, and she is envisioning her future to use the skills and tools of Nurse Coaching, and she’s envisioning it based on a very life changing experience she had. And so this guest is all the way from Jamestown, Ohio, and her name is Taylor Byrer. So we welcome Taylor.

Taylor Byrer  00:50

Thank you. I’m so happy to be here.

Nicole Vienneau  00:52

I’m happy you’re here too. I’m excited to hear more about your story, and I know our listeners are very excited too, because it’s kind of intriguing. Like, what are we going to talk about today? 

So Taylor, you know, because you listen, have listened to every single episode of the Integrative Nurse Coaches in ACTION, you know that we always take a trip down history lane. So let’s do that. Let’s tell our listeners a little bit about your story. How did you even decide to become a Nurse? 

Taylor Byrer  01:20

Yeah. So my story is actually very unique. I was born with a rare liver disease, and so that required, you know, I had a surgery at three months old, and that had a lot of follow up. I was at the doctor every six months, every like, once a year or so, and I vividly remember going to the children’s hospitals telling my mom, like, I don’t want to be a Nurse. 

I never want to work in a hospital. I absolutely hated going to the hospital for my checkups, and I was just like, I don’t know why anybody would want to work in hospital. And then she would always say, you would be such a great Nurse. I’m like, No, absolutely not. 

But what’s funny is, when I think back to it, like the most exciting part of my appointments was to see the Nurses, because they were… it was always the same Nurse every time. And she is so dear to me, and she was fantastic. And she, you know, she walked my parents through the diagnosis at three months old. And then until, you know, I graduated from children’s hospital, she was there. 

And so she was a very big… had a very big impact on me. But I still never wanted to be a Nurse. I always wanted to be an occupational therapist. And I went off to school, got a bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science, and then tried to go to occupational therapy school. And then that didn’t work out. And it wasn’t until then I was just like, What am I going to do? 

Like, you know, I have to do something. And so then I finally caved in, and I was like, alright, let’s just try Nursing school. And so I went to Nursing school and got my associate’s degree, and absolutely loved it. And while I was in Nursing school, I was a tech on a vascular thoracic surgery floor, so I was in an intermediate step down. 

And I really, really liked that. And then I then got interviewed to be in the critical care fellowship, and I was like, you know, I didn’t think I would get it, and I wasn’t trying to go critical care, but it just so happened that I had a clinical on the day that I was supposed to do the intermediate fellowship, and so I couldn’t miss my clinical so they had me go and interview in the critical care space, and then they hired me. 

And so I was like, okay, so I went into critical care. I absolutely loved it. That was in February of 2019, is when I started in critical care. And I was like, I’m going to be here until I retire. Like, I absolutely loved critical care. I loved the fast pace. I loved how intense the medicine was, but then also to see how it would just transform like the worst cases. 

And then they would still, you know, they would get better, and they would leave the hospital. And then 2020 hit. And then I was like, okay, maybe I don’t want to do critical care anymore, but I did. I continued to do that for about two and a half, three more years. But I actually decided to travel in December of 2020, and so I traveled with critical care. 

I went to West Virginia, and then to Washington state, and then I went to Johnson, Pennsylvania, and all of those were critical care. And then I just kept feeling this burnout, but I thought traveling would help that. I thought it would, you know, I was like, Okay, I’m only going to be there for 13 weeks, and then I can move somewhere else. 

And so I really thought that that was going to be the cure all for my burnout, and it definitely wasn’t. And then in November of 2021, I had intense abdominal pain, and like, I was jaundice. It was my scalara was yellow, my eyes, and I went to the doctor, and my liver enzymes were like skyrocketed. And I was very, very healthy growing up. 

And I was very, very fortunate for that, because my disease, biliary atresia, kiddos are not as healthy as me. And I had the Kasai procedure, but a lot of times they’re transplanted before the two years of life. And so, you know, I beat that. I was not. And so it wasn’t until 2021 that, like, my liver enzymes just went skyrocketed. And then I was like, Okay, I need to make a change, because this stress and anxiety that I’m feeling from work is really taking a toll on my liver. 

And so I was like, I need to make a change. So I stepped out of ICU and I went to PACU. I wanted to be in the recovery room because I thought, you know, it’s not quite as intensive, I don’t have the patients for as long and but I still have a lot of that critical thinking piece, because you never know how somebody’s going to wake up from anesthesia. 

You don’t know how they’re going to recover from whatever procedure they have. And so I did that again for about a year and a half, and then I traveled some with PACU as well, and I really liked that. But then there was just one day that, like, I couldn’t do it anymore. I really educated one of my patients on a procedure that he had. 

He was getting ready to drive a semi from Ohio to California, and he just had a big urology procedure, so I was educating him on the importance of making sure he used the restroom a lot, making sure he drank plenty of fluids and would make frequent stops to get out and walk so that he wouldn’t end up in the hospital with sepsis or something terrible. 

And one of the charge Nurses came to me, and she was like, That was exhausting. Like, I don’t know how you educated that patient for three hours. And it was in that moment that I was like, one, he wasn’t ready to be discharged. And two, like, why else are you a Nurse if you don’t want the best for your patients? 

And so I went home, and I was like, I can’t do this anymore. And that was, that was December of ’22, and I told my husband, I was like, I’m not doing bedside anymore. And all at this time, like, my liver, my liver enzymes went down a little bit, but my bilirubin was still super high. 

People in the hospital were recognizing it, and it was like, that’s the worst place to be. And people were starting to say, like, something’s really wrong with your liver. And I’d be like, Yes, I know. Like, I’m aware. And so that became, like, a really big, you know, a stop for me, because I was just like, I can’t walk around with yellow eyes, and, you know, all the people notice it. 

So I stepped out of bedside, and then that’s when I found INCA and joined INCA, and in January of ’23, and that literally just changed my life. And I was like, okay, because I really was going to get out of Nursing. I really thought that I was like, This is it. I can’t keep doing this. I’ll do something else. But then I found Nurse Coaching, and so here I am.

Nicole Vienneau  07:49

Okay, wow. What a great story so far. So you know, just, I love, I love listening to the history lane story. It related to Nursing, right? Because there’s so many avenues Nurses can take, and we can move into something different. 

And I love your story about how you didn’t even want to be a Nurse. That was like, the last thing on your list, and then all of a sudden it’s like, well, I guess I gotta try Nursing. And here you are, how many years later?

Taylor Byrer  08:19

So it’s six years, yeah.

Nicole Vienneau  08:21

Six years, yeah, that’s wonderful. And then you got to experience so many different avenues of Nursing as well, in different places, different locations, different states and travel Nursing and different specialties. And all along this journey, I mean, your whole life, you are also living with liver disease. 

And then realizing the impact of stress and anxiety, which we, you know, really pay attention to in our Integrative Nurse Coaching program about how to take care of ourselves, but how much our stressful environments and the way that we live really impact our health and well being. 

And you know, working through COVID, all our Nurses, our listeners, we know what that was like, working through COVID and living through… living and working through COVID, through all of that and how stressful it was. So you say… you mentioned that Nurse Coaching changed the way you envision Nursing. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Taylor Byrer  09:25

Yeah, so it really just reminded me and really just put the focus on like I have to heal myself before I can truly show up for other people. And that had really become apparent to me in COVID and working bedside, like I had just… it got to the point where I had to kind of like, pretend that each patient wasn’t a human, because it was so painful for me to think about this as a person, and they have a family and like, what kind of person were they? 

That I had to separate that completely. And so INCA really just grounded me, and to say, like, I have to heal myself, and then I can be the best for somebody else. And so, you know, it was just, it really helped me slow down, and my nervous system was so out of balance, but with the mindfulness, I’d never really meditated at all. 

I’d never done any of those types of practices to really slow down and just learn myself and learn what my body was telling me. You know, it’s like they always say that, like your body is telling you all these silent whispers, until then it was like screaming at me, and that was so true with my liver. 

And it was just like it was keeping up so much, and it was working so hard, but I was just ignoring it. And so INCA just really gave me that space to share my story. And I think, too, being with the other Nurses in the group, like that was so healing for me, because I’m the only Nurse in my family. 

I didn’t really, you know, I’d have my coworkers, but I didn’t really hang out with them outside of work, and so I didn’t have anybody else to talk to who had experienced what I had, or anything similar. And it’s like, irregardless of what kind of Nursing you’re in, we all get it. We all know that Nursing is difficult no matter where you’re at. 

And so I think that, too, was just so healing for me to be able to share my story and people to be like, Oh my gosh, Taylor, like, I hear you. I see you. So that’s what INCA did for me. It was just, it was great.

Nicole Vienneau  11:32

Yes, you know, your story is similar to many of our guests and many, many Nurses that I talk to, in the sense of you know, not really knowing about how positively slowing down and being mindful, whether it’s mindfulness or gratitude or meditation, or just becoming more self aware and self reflecting. 

Like how all of those tools and practices really support us in our lives, not only as Nurses at the bedside, but just in our personal lives as well, and how we can show up as better versions of ourselves or more authentic. It’s not better— more authentic versions of who we are. And that is such a gift to, at the beginning, it was being forced into learning. 

We were forced into doing meditations. And for me, it was really uncomfortable at the beginning to really under, you know, go through that and, you know, here we are doing this stuff, but I want to learn how to coach. I didn’t come here to learn meditation, yet, all of those tools help us to be better coaches in the end. Yeah, so I love the story. 

Okay, so now we’re at the point where you took INCA’s Nurse Coach certificate program, and then you passed it, and then you decided to become a Board Certified Nurse Coach. I’m curious to know why you decided to take that exam, take the next step to become board certified. 

Taylor Byrer  13:03

I think it was just a part of, like, if I’m going to help people with this, then I wanted that validity. I wanted to feel like, you know… and I put all that hard work into it so I didn’t feel like solid. It didn’t feel real until I got that board certification. And, you know, I guess it just proved to me that, like, Yes, I can do this. And like, I understand, I did learn that stuff, and I do know how to implement this now to truly help people. And, yeah, so I think for me, it was just I wanted that validation.

Nicole Vienneau  13:36

Yeah, so it’s both personal and professional. So yeah, it does  give you more credibility. And then also for yourself, is like, Yes, I do know this stuff. I get it. I can follow this process. I know how it works, and to better help other people. Yeah, I love that. All right. So now you’ve taken the course, you’ve got your board certification, and now tell us what happens next in your life.

Taylor Byrer  13:59

Yeah, so actually, during the program, so I was in from January until July of ’23, and February of ’23 is when, you know, my bilirubin was just… it was hovering around like 19, and it wasn’t really going down. And that’s very high, as we know, as Nurses, and you know, my liver enzymes were, they were still elevated. 

They weren’t as high as they had once been. But, you know, it was just getting to that point where it was like, I needed to start talking transplant. And like, growing up with biliary atresia, like, that’s the only cure for that disease, is a transplant. And so I just had to face the facts of, like, you know, this is happening. 

And so then that June, I met with the transplant team. They told me that I was, like, the perfect candidate for a living donor. And they had already said, you know, my uncle was great about putting forth, like, all of these messages to family, because, you know, family, it is good to get a living donor from family, if possible. 

And so he reached out to a lot of my cousins. And so then, unbeknownst to me, there were multiple applications submitted, even friends, family, everybody. And I didn’t even know, because, you know, they like to keep it separate. 

And so when I went to that meeting to meet the transplant team, they had told me that I had already had multiple applications submitted to be a living donor, and so they said, and you’re the perfect candidate. But they did say that, you know, I would have to be placed on the deceased donor list. But there was a process. So I went through all the testing. I didn’t officially…

Nicole Vienneau  15:37

Can we back up for just one second? Because how did it feel to hear that you had all of these people supporting you and wanting to be a donor for you? How does that feel?

Taylor Byrer  15:50

Yeah, that is a great question, and it was very humbling. But then I was also… I was like, scared for them, and just like, I can’t… and I was just so grateful. And I was just like, I cannot imagine being willing to do something like that. Like, the gift of life and organ donation, is so huge that, like, I was like, somebody is willing to go through, like, a very major surgery and have a portion of their liver removed to save my life. 

And it was, you know, I could do nothing but cry, like I really, it was just like, Oh my gosh. And, yeah, it was very humbling. And I was just like, oh my goodness. And I didn’t know who had submitted, but then I found out later on, like, how many people had, and, like, they reached out to me. 

And it was just like, every time, I’d cry because I was like, oh gosh. Like, that is just such a selfless act. And it’s one of those things that, like, I just don’t know how to repay them. You know what I mean? Like, thank you is just not enough. So, yeah, it was very interesting feeling, for sure.

Nicole Vienneau  17:01

Yeah, well, and in truth, I bet you, thank you is enough.

Taylor Byrer  17:06

Yeah, it doesn’t feel like it, but that’s what everybody tells me.

Nicole Vienneau  17:11

Yes. And what a blessing, what a blessing it is that so many were willing to support and realize the benefits. I mean, listeners, for me, transplant is an area that I don’t have a lot of experience in, and I’m sure that a lot of our listeners don’t. 

So, you know, this is a really important conversation for educating our listeners as well. So there’s, you know, it’s more than just your story, right? It’s also going to help so many other people out there in the world who are like, oh, gosh, I didn’t even know that I could be a donor for someone who needs a liver. I didn’t know that. Yeah.

Taylor Byrer  17:54

One of the… as you say that it reminded me, as I was in the program in INCA, we were in peer groups, and I had two peer people that I was working with, and, you know, I was telling them about, in one of our peer coaching groups, I was telling them about this process and about how, you know, I had known about this my entire life, but it didn’t make it easier when the time came. 

Like, it still was so daunting and terrifying to me, and I realized how long I was in denial about it. But I was telling these two about my story and about how I needed a liver. And it was the most moving, most like chilling experience, like every single hair on my body was standing straight, because then the next time that we met, one of them had shared that she had lost her dad, and it was unexpected. 

And then the, you know, the hospital staff came to her and asked if he was an organ donor. And she said, No, he wasn’t. And she said, I had never thought about him being an organ donor, like I never thought about that process. 

And she said, and it wasn’t until I heard about your story that I said, Yes, I want him to be an organ donor, and he would be okay with that. And then he was an organ donor. And then she came back to me again a couple weeks later, and she said, Taylor, the only organ that he was able to get was his liver.

Nicole Vienneau  19:25

Oh my gosh!

Taylor Byrer  19:26

It literally just like… and it gives me chills now to think about it. 

Nicole Vienneau  19:29

Yes, me too!

Taylor Byrer  19:31

And it was… that experience was so amazing. And then the other peer that was in that group with us, there’s three of us, just sat there and cried, and it was… it was such a moving experience. And she just said, Thank you so much. She was like, the whole time, I just kept thinking of you. And she was like, I really wish that he could have helped you. 

And I said, Well, you know, I wasn’t to that point yet. I wasn’t to that point in my process. I hadn’t been listed on the transplant list.But it was just so exciting for me to be like, Wow, my story helped somebody realize, like, you know, and if I give this away, like, you know, or give the opportunity for him to be an organ donor, he can save somebody’s life. And he did.

Nicole Vienneau  20:24

I still got my chills. You know, it’s one of those body signals that tells you that something is true, that something is real, that you know, it’s like yes… or no sometimes, right? Thank you. Okay. All right, so you were continuing on… I interrupted you, but I really wanted to know how it felt. I think that’s important for us to understand and hear about the impact, the impact that we can have just by saying yes to something, that can help someone else in such a dramatic way.

Taylor Byrer  21:07

Yeah, thank you for asking that. And also, too, there was a little bit of fear with me, because it was like, okay, this person is willing to do this, but then there’s always that risk of surgery. And it was just like, it was a very, very minor feeling, but that thought did come in my mind, like, you know, what if somebody wants to do this for me, and then something happens? 

Like that was always in the back of my mind, but I had to just say, you know, this is the choice that they’re making and but yeah, just so gracious and so blessed to be able to have that many people put in an application for me, for sure. 

Nicole Vienneau  21:42

Yes, like, stand up for Taylor, yes. Okay, and then you also said that then you went on the other list.

Taylor Byrer  21:55

Yes. So that was in June. And then they told me that it would take a little while for me to get, because then they had to go to the board to determine if I was actually able to be listed, and if it was, you know, logical for me to be listed at this time. And so that happened in July. And then, you know, I graduated INCA on July 27th of that year, and then on August 11th is when I was officially placed on the national transplant list. 

And it’s funny, because I had actually signed up, like, right after, I think it was even a couple weeks before I graduated INCA, I had already signed up to take the board certification because, you know, I was like, I want to take it as soon as I can so I don’t lose anything. It’s fresh in my mind. 

So that was on September 1st, and I felt prepared. I was studying, and then I went in, and I missed it by three points. I didn’t pass, and I was just like, Oh my gosh. And then, you know, and I really was hard on myself during that time, but like I said earlier, like I was in very much… I was still in denial that this was actually happening. 

And as I like, look back now, it was just like that was the worst time to take that because my mind was so far away from that exam. I was focused so much on my health and like, what my future would look like and when I would get my transplant, that it was like, I just want to stress, like, that’s very important to like, where is your mind at that time? 

Are you dealing with? And a lot of times people aren’t dealing with the transplant, right? But like, whatever it is in your life, like, if you are focused on something else, your mind is going to be there. And so that was big for me to realize, like, it wasn’t the fact that I didn’t know what I was studying, I didn’t know Nurse Coaching. That was not the right time. So then I went back, and I took it a year later, or almost a year later, and I passed, and it was great, yeah.

Nicole Vienneau  23:52

Well, I like this conversation, where it’s going, because I think that a lot of Nurses— many, many Nurses out there, I’m sorry I’m going to say this— but many Nurses are very hard on themselves, you know, and we’re also very prepared. And so when things don’t go our way, like an exam, we can be really hard on ourselves. 

And so I think this is really great advice, Taylor, to bring to light. Like, the exam is not easy. So, yeah, being prepared in the sense of your whole self, not just knowing the information, because obviously you knew it. There’s only three questions, so you knew it. It was just that… It was just the time of your life, yeah. 

So I really appreciate this. And then you took it a year later, after, and then you still remembered all the information. So there’s no time limit, right? We can take our time. And then also, you know, I also appreciated that you had no fear. You’re like, you know what? I know all this stuff is happening, but I’m still going to go and take that exam anyways, because it’s that important to me. So there’s kind of both sides to this too. 

Taylor Byrer  25:10

Yeah, absolutely. I think it was a really good distraction for me as well. You know, I was like, Okay, I have this exam to focus on, and my health is fine. You know, I was very much in denial. So, yeah. Then moving past that, then October… October 24th,  I got a call, and that’s the thing, is like I knew I would be placed on the deceased donor list. 

I wasn’t very… the communication wasn’t there and the education wasn’t there as far as, you know, they told me to always have my phone and to answer any number that I didn’t recognize, because it would be a number I wouldn’t recognize, and it would be the call to say that I have a liver. 

And so, you know, it was October 24th and I was just outside at my house, and my cousin was here, thank goodness, because my husband is a pilot, and so he was gone for the time, and so I would have just been here by myself, had my cousin not been here. And I get a phone call, and I answered it, and she said, Hi, Taylor, this is so and so, and we have a liver for you. 

And my heart just literally dropped to my toes, and I was staring at my dog, and she said, you know, do you want this liver? And I was like, yes, very hesitantly, because I almost said, like, I almost said I didn’t have time. Well, then I got off the phone, and when she told me, she said, Stay there. Like, don’t leave yet. She asked how far I was from the hospital. 

I said, about an hour. She said, Stay there, like, we’re not 100% certain that it’s viable, and we’ll give you a call back when we know. And I told my cousin, I just started crying, and I told my cousin, I was like, I don’t have time for this. That’s what I said. Like, what do you mean you don’t have time for this? 

And it was just like, I don’t know where my mom was, but I was just thinking about my dog, and I was like, I haven’t set up anything for him. Like, I haven’t set up for somebody to stay with him, or for us to take him some place. And she was like, Taylor, don’t worry about him. Like, I can stay with him. 

And she was like, Yes, this is exciting. Like, we have to tell the whole family. And like, Go pack your bag. Like, I didn’t have a backpack or anything. And so I was like, Okay, so like, that slew of emotions was so intense. And then I think about… it was about five and a half hours, six hours later, I got a call back saying that it was no longer viable. 

And then I was back on the list. And so I said, okay, and my cousin was like, alright, that’s disappointing, but, like, we now know the steps to take. You have your bag packed. You’re going to leave it packed, all the things. I called everybody back to say, Nope, no go. Like, just kidding. 

And on with my life. So my cousin left, I went to sleep, and then I was woken up at like, 6:50 in the morning. It was 13 hours after the first call to say, hey, Taylor, there’s a liver, do you want it? And I was like, okay… like, and I didn’t think, and she said, you know, this is very unusual. We don’t usually have them this close together. So I said, Yes. And then she said, How soon can you get here? 

And I was like, I can get there in an hour. And so she said, Okay, get here by nine o’clock. So I got myself ready, packed a bag, and drove up to the hospital, told my mom, told everybody, everybody met me at the hospital, and then got checked in. They had a surgery date, or time, and then that kept moving back, because it depended on when they harvested the organ from the donor. 

And so then my surgery was moved to 5:30 in the morning the next morning, or, I’m sorry, five o’clock the next morning. And I had a resident come in about 9:45 that night. He said, everything’s looking good. The liver is out. It’s on the pump. We run labs on it every hour, and then we’ll see. 

We’ll come in about 4:30 in the morning to tell you if it’s viable. So I tried to sleep, didn’t really work that well, and then I was staring at the clock, and then at 5:30, and he kind of had his head hang low, and he was like, I’m so sorry, but that liver is no longer viable, so we’re going to… 

I’m going to have your Nurse come in, she’ll take out your IV, and then you’ll go back home, and you’re on the wait list again. I was like, okay, so home I went, and that was really difficult, like we were all just… my whole family… you know, I have a huge support system. So I think there were, like, probably 10 of us at the hospital, and we were all just like, Okay, now we have to go home. And, you know, I was just like, you have to be strong and pull up your bootstraps. Just wait.

Nicole Vienneau  29:55

Yeah. So I could tell that that second loss was very difficult.

Taylor Byrer  30:04

Yeah, I think just because it just felt so much more real, and that, you know, like my husband stayed with me and, you know, it was like, okay, like, this is it. Like we knew this would happen, but like, the time is now. And then to have it not happen was just like, yeah, it was heartbreaking, really, because there’s always that thought, like with organ donation, they tell you, and when you’re listed on the transplant list, they tell you how many people are on the list. 

Sometimes people don’t get their organs. Sometimes, you know what I mean, and it was like, am I going to get a liver? I don’t know. So, yeah, it was very difficult, but some happiness in that was during that time, one of my cousins from… she lives in Chicago, she had texted me and she said, Hey, Tay. 

Like, I’m in Columbus, and I’d like to come see you. And I said, Okay. And I didn’t know that she was in Columbus. Well, turns out she was getting tested and going through the entire testing process to be a living donor for me. And so she walked in and she told me that, and I just like burst into tears again. 

And I was like, Oh my gosh. Like, are you serious? And she said, Yeah. And I said, so what’s going to happen? Like, are they going to send you home? Because it was a three day testing process, and she’d only been through the first day. So I said, are they going to send you home? And she said, Because I’m so far away that they want to wait until you’re under the knife before they release me. 

And I was like, okay, and then, so she’s an identical twin, and then she told me, she said, Yeah, and Margo, her sister, was going to get tested in December. And I was like, Oh my goodness. Like, and I didn’t know either of them put in an application. 

So, that was pretty awesome to realize then and like, have her be there with me during that. And then she had the really good idea to name my liver, my old liver, and then to name my new liver. And so that was, we made light of it. So, yeah, that was really special.

Nicole Vienneau  32:17

Can we ask the names?

Taylor Byrer  32:19

Yeah, so my old liver was Sparky, and then my new liver is Lola. And it was just kind of like a roundabout way, and like all these things of how these names came about, but yeah. So, that was October 25th, I went home, and then February 18th-, 2024 came around. I got a third call for another liver, and they told me to stay home. 

And so I had just kind of put it out of my mind at that point when they told me that I wasn’t coming in. I was like, I was already determined that that wasn’t going to work. And my cousin, who was there, she had already found out that she was not a match, because they wanted 30%— they take up to 70% of the liver from her for me, and so they wanted her remaining portion to be at least 30% in size. 

And hers was not, so that automatically disqualified her as a match. So I knew that. But then her sister had then been tested, and I hadn’t heard anything from that, and she got tested a week, I think, before Christmas, so I knew, with the holidays, I knew that that was going to kind of push everything back. 

And another really awesome thing that I found out about transplantation, especially living donors, is they do all the imaging for the living donor, and then they will send off the liver. They’ll perform the transplant virtually on the donor liver multiple times, and then they send it over to Germany, and a doctor and surgeon in Germany will also perform the surgery and then send it back. 

And then they kind of compare and contrast, like how they would do it, and then that surgeon also continues to do more virtual surgeries on the donor liver, and that way, when they do go in to open that person up, they know exactly where to go. And I mean, it’s like they’ve done it 100 times, and so they know exactly how to perform this. 

So it’s just a very seamless process for the donor. And so I knew that that process, if she had made it further, was going to be even longer because of that. But February 18th, I still hadn’t heard whether she was a match or not. And so I got that third call, and I was just holding out hope that she would be a match and that I would get a living donor, because they said that, you know, your chances are much greater with a living donor versus a deceased donor. 

And so I was just like, Okay, I was very hopeful that she would be a match. So February 18th ended up not working, third dry run. And then on March 14th of ’24 I got a call from my cousin, and she said she was a match. So, yup, so I got Margot’s liver. And, yeah, it was incredible. And then we had our… I had my transplant on April 19th of 2024, so, and it was amazing.

Nicole Vienneau  35:28

Yay! Oh my gosh. Wow. Such a long journey. I mean long in the sense too, because you were born with this, right? And then, but then this, you know, the stages of denial too, that you had to go through to really recognize, like, oh my gosh, yeah, I really do need to go through this. And then all of those… I was just imagining the telephone call: Taylor, we have a liver for you. Do you want it? Do you want it? And you have… you then decide yes or no.

Taylor Byrer  36:02

Yes, because, I mean, it’s my choice ultimately, if I want it or not. And so they tell me the risk factors, if there are any, if there aren’t any, and there were a few risk factors for the one that I accepted, the second one that I accepted, because it was a cardiac death versus a brain death, and so that can make a difference, and they didn’t really know the social history of the person, and so that can make a difference. And so that added a whole other level of like, okay, I have these things to think about. And so, yeah.

Nicole Vienneau  36:37

And so when it was your cousin, it’s like, yay! Like, for a lot of reasons, right? Wow, wow. So, really, your surgery is not that long ago. Your new Lola.

Taylor Byrer  36:53

Yes, Lola. Lola is doing fantastic. Yes. So, and that’s what was really interesting, too. It was like, it was eight weeks, I had my transplant eight weeks before I turned 33. And so, you know, that’s very unheard of with biliary atresia, like you don’t, you don’t make it to adulthood a lot of the times with your native liver and I did. So the fact that I was almost 33 was pretty miraculous. 

And so, yeah, that was a huge thing to celebrate as well. Yeah, and then, so then to go further on, like then when I was reflecting back on, you know, my entire transplant process and all the dry runs, and then really thinking about the job of the Nurse coordinators, that was really interesting to see it from a patient perspective, because I was in constant communication with my Nurse coordinator. 

And I was just thinking, oh my goodness, like their job is so much more intense and totally different than my job as an ICU Nurse, because, you know, I only saw my patients for a couple weeks or whatever, but they follow these patients for years, for years, sometimes. 

And because it’s like, I will always have a Nurse coordinator, regardless of how far out I am, because they’re going to be the ones to communicate anything that’s wrong, or if I’m having a new symptom, I reach out to them first, and then they reach the doctor and they tell me about labs and all that kind of stuff. And so it just really put a whole new perspective on their job and their role. 

And I’ve been trying to figure out, like, what I wanted to do with my Nurse Coaching. And then it wasn’t until October 24th and 25th of ’24, like a year later, and I really reflected on how I felt in those moments when I got those dry runs, the first two, and I was just like, you know, I really want to help transplant patients or transplant teams in whatever way possible. 

And I had always thought when I was younger, and like, even before I, like, when I was younger, going to the hospital and stuff, I knew that I wanted to do something in transplant, but I wasn’t really sure. And even as a Nurse, I would reach out to different transplant Nurses to see, like, if they thought I was too close to work in that, that realm. 

And for whatever reason, they always said, you know, I would love to help you, like I’ve loved my time in GI and stuff, but I can’t really answer that for you. And I was always just very hesitant to act on it. And I think it was because I hadn’t gone through the whole process, so I didn’t feel comfortable working with it, because I was kind of in my naive little bubble, like, what I didn’t know is what I didn’t know, and it was good for me. 

So but now after transplant, I’m like, I really feel called to like, help the transplant community in any way that I can, either different patients or the Nurse coordinators. And I… like I said, I really just felt pulled and called to help these Nurse coordinators, because I know the feeling of burnout. I know all of that as a Nurse, and then seeing it from a patient perspective as well. So I just want to help them in any way I can.

Nicole Vienneau  40:18

Yes, and so you see this need. Because, one, you experienced the deep loss of thinking you were going to get an organ, and then it not working out three different times, in addition to all the people who also applied for the, you know, to be a donor, and that loss too, right? 

And there’s gratitude and everything associated with that, but there’s also got to be the loss of those people didn’t work out or for whatever reason. So there’s that, that chunk, and then that process for you, you didn’t have any support besides your family and you know, but like, the medical system was not supporting you or recognizing that deep loss, and how that impacts you so spiritually, and, you know, just mental health.

Taylor Byrer  41:12

Yeah, correct. And so that’s when I really thought about Nurse Coaching and how it’s just such a holistic practice, and focusing on the entire person. And I think that’s what was lost with me. And it was just like I thought I would at least get an outreach from someone about how I was feeling, and I didn’t. 

And so that, you know, I was like, I could be that for somebody else, like I want to be that person for another patient, because I knew how isolating it felt. And then, you know, because I have the medical background and none of my family does, I felt like I had to be like, I felt like I kept putting on my Nurse hat a lot of the times for my family, because I would be like, Oh, it’s okay. 

Like, you know, I kept coming up with all these excuses or ideas of like, it’s okay, like, you know, trying to be strong when really it was so scary and hard, and I was just like, Okay, I think I was talking to my family and myself, and just like, it’s going to work out. And just trying to stay positive. But it was difficult at times, for sure.

Nicole Vienneau  42:14

Yeah, oh, I can only imagine. And I do see this beautiful link of using the Nurse Coaching model to support patients in all types of transplantation. So I know this is your vision, which is, listeners, at the beginning I was saying this is a unique, a unique vision of how to use the skills and tools of Nurse Coaching. 

So Taylor, tell us some of the process that you’ve been exploring to try to make this a reality. And let me just preface this. But listeners, sometimes it appears that finding a role in Nurse Coaching is so easy because you see people doing it on social media, and you see what’s you know, you think you know what’s happening, and really, it can take a long time, in reality, to really find the niche that you are destined to work in. 

And it takes a lot of back work and a lot of different things to really align before you really can use Nurse Coaching the way you really, really are destined and want to do it. So okay, Taylor, tell us some of the things that you’ve been doing in the background to make this happen.

Taylor Byrer  43:29

Yeah. So I came up with that idea in October, like I said, and then I knew I was meeting with my surgeon for another follow up appointment in December, and so I could not wait to talk to him, to tell him my idea. So much so that my husband was like, okay, Taylor, you are here for you and for your health. So let him talk first and see how you’re doing. Ask new questions before you bombard him with your idea. And I did for ever so slightly, but he immediately asked how I was doing and what I was up to. 

And so then that just segue right into my idea. And so I shared with him that I really wanted to help transplant patients and the Nurse coordinators and transplant teams in general, just any of them, to share what a patient’s perspective looks like and how I really wanted to start helping the transplant center at Ohio State, first and foremost, and he loved the idea, and he was very much on board. 

And so he’s been the biggest support for me. And I think it was just such a sigh of relief to see. I wasn’t sure how he was going to take it, but then he just welcomed it so much and with such open arms that I was like, Oh my gosh, this is great. And so he said that he would reach out to the people to make this happen. 

And so I’ve been in communication with him, and I really sat back and kind of like, let him do a lot of the work at first. And then I realized, Taylor, you have to take action. Yeah. And I was thinking, like, putting myself in that Nurse’s role. And I was like, if somebody came to me and said that this patient and a Nurse wanted to come and talk to me, but I had never seen them, I’d never heard of them, like I me, if I was in that situation, I wouldn’t reach out to that person. 

And so I was like, I need to make myself known. And like, go to the hospital and try to connect with these Nurses. And so that’s what I did. So I first started with like a flyer and a business card, just kind of explaining why they would want to work with a Nurse Coach and specifically me, because I was a patient and then a Nurse, and how I have that very unique perspective. 

And then I followed up with a letter, and I hand delivered these every time. And then, you know, and they’re very busy, as I understand, so I totally get it. So I would just leave them, and then just kept following up and then finally I was able to… I’ve been in email communication with them, and also just keeping my surgeon up to date about things. 

And then, you know, I talked to him another time, because then another idea came up of like, what if I shared my story with the surgeons and the residents too? And he said, I think that’s a great idea. I think it’s good for us to get exposure to the patient’s perspective. And then he said, you know, what about medical students too? 

So we’re still very much in the beginning, developing stages of all of this, but it’s just been very exciting. And, like, I just get so excited about it that, you know, I know it’s moving, the ball is moving, but it does, like you said, it does take a while. 

And, yeah, I just, and it’s really interesting because before this realization of working with transplant, I thought I would want to work with people who have chronic diseases in any way, but that just… I struggled so much to talk about it, I would never mention it to anybody. But then now that I’ve thought of this transplant stuff, it’s just like it flows so nicely that it’s just like I know that this is where I’m supposed to be. 

I still don’t know exactly what it’s going to look like, but my vision is to, you know, work with these Nurses, one on one, to just kind of hear their story, just kind of help them as a whole, and then to just elaborate through all the transplant teams, the social workers, the surgeons, whoever needs it, and then also with other patients as well.

Nicole Vienneau  47:23

I think sometimes we do feel like things should go super fast. You know, when we’ve… first of all, I just love how the difference between you thinking you want to work with people with chronic illness and how that wasn’t, you weren’t telling anybody about it. It’s like, it was just like, Okay, we hope that this will happen. 

And then you find this alignment with what you are really jazzed about, right? And then you can’t stop talking about it. Like, that’s the difference between alignment and just doing something because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do. 

Yeah, and then all the steps that you’ve really taken ownership of by actually talking to people who are challenging to talk to. Like, it’s hard to go talk to a doctor. It’s hard to show up at the hospital and bring your business card and your pamphlets and, you know, just go talk to people. 

I mean, that’s hard to do. It’s so vulnerable, and yet you’re like, you know what? This needs to happen. This is something that I’m so passionate about that I am, yes, I’m scared as crap. I mean, I’m very scared, and yet I’m still going to go do it.

Taylor Byrer  48:36

Yes, exactly. And it’s like, every single time I have to send an email, and it’s just, like, literally, to type up the email to, like, read over it a few times and then hit send. It’s like, I literally will sit there for so long and, like, just hit send. But even that, and it’s like, I’m not, you know, it’s just, it’s so simple, but, yeah, it’s terrifying. And like, I’m just pep talking, pep talking myself the entire time. 

Like, Taylor, you can do this, you got this, like, the worst they can say is no, like, and then nothing changes, you know. But if you don’t say anything, then you’re not going to get anywhere. And so that’s just kind of been, like, it doesn’t kill you, what, you know, you just go talk. And so, yeah.

Nicole Vienneau  49:16

That’s right, yeah. I’ve learned along the way that no is one of the best answers you could ever hear, because then you know, you know, not can no, then you know that you don’t need to waste time there anymore. When you hear the No, then you’re just like, Okay, next opportunity. 

I’m moving on to the next thing. So that’s kind of how I’ve re-positioned the No, but I really want to know if they’re going to say no, so that I could just stop wasting energy there and move to the next thing, next opportunity, please.

Taylor Byrer  49:51

Yeah. And the other thing that’s really exciting is like, I’ve been marking down in my calendar, like every little thing that I do towards my business, whether it be, you know, I’m in a business incubator group, and so it’s like, every time we meet, I write that down, and then, you know, I have accountability buddies. 

And so anytime I talk about anything, I write it down just to count up to see how much I’ve done in the month. And so it was like, May was huge. Like I had like, 51 different things on my business related stuff, but then my momentum, it’s just like, now, like ideas just come to me so quickly. 

And it’s like, you know, I reached out to an insurance group that reached out to me, and they said, you know that we have a transplant Nurse coordinator for you. And so I got it from both sides. I got it from the hospital and the insurance company, which was fantastic. 

So I even reached out to them, and you know, they emailed me back and said, you know, thank you so much for your outreach, and I love your perspective, but we are not looking for additional coaching services at this time. And I was like, hey, that’s great. 

Like, and it was a no, but it was, I was just like, exactly like you just said, like, a no is a good thing to just be like, Okay, I’ve tried, and thank you so much for even listening to me. And no is no, and it’s a no right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s a closed door forever. And so yeah, that no actually was like, Okay, I have an answer. And so that was okay. It was really okay.

Nicole Vienneau  51:19

Yeah, and you got to practice what to say. And you know, you got to practice in front of a real person that could say yes, maybe they would say yes, and you never know until you do ask. So, yeah, yeah, it’s a different space for Nurses to be in, though, when we start thinking about entrepreneurship and at the same time, it’s not that different, because you ask for things at work as a Nurse. 

So, you know, just shifting the perspective a little bit helps. Yeah, so okay, so we’ve talked about a lot of things today, so many great things, and so I’d love to, as as we tie things up, I wish we could talk about this all day, but we do love to ask the best question I’d love to hear the answers for which is, Taylor, what is on your heart that you would really like listeners to hear?

Taylor Byrer  52:18

Really just that, you know, gratitude and compassion, and just really a plug for organ donation, because just by saying yes to whatever it is in life can truly change somebody else’s life, whether it’s organ donation or just yes to a possibility and just learning more things. Like, you’re going to grow from different opportunities. And organ donation is huge, especially as a living donor. You know, it changes lives, so I think, and to just keep following your gut with wherever it leads you.

Nicole Vienneau  52:56

I’m just letting it all soak in. Thank you for speaking from your heart. So Taylor, if we want to be an organ donor, how would we do that?

Taylor Byrer  53:11

Yeah, there’s a couple ways that you can do it. I know that you can go to organdonor.gov and you can sign up that way. And then I know that I signed up when I got my license. So either when you go get your license renewed or whatever through your BMV, you can register that way as well, and then they’ll actually put it on your license.

Nicole Vienneau  53:32

Awesome. I know I have it on my license, so I did that part. Oh my gosh. And Taylor, how do we get in touch with you, if we want to connect with you?

Taylor Byrer  53:42

Yeah, so I am, I’m on all social media, taylor.byrer, or taylorbyrer. Then I don’t post a lot on social media, but I am there and then my email is just taylor.byrer@gmail.com. So yeah, that’s how you can get a hold of me.

Nicole Vienneau  53:59

Yes, awesome. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of these incredible pearls of wisdom about organ donation, your journey through the process and then your envisioning of your potential link to Nurse Coaching and organ donation and how Nurse coaches can help with that, and we can’t wait to hear what happens in the future. And thank you so much.

Taylor Byrer  54:03

Thank you. I appreciate it so much. It was great to chat with you today, Nicole, and share my story.