This October I turn 64 years young; how did this happen already? I remember when my grandmother told me she was 64. I was literally amazed that someone could be that old, yet often I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to be an old woman. I desired to be like my grandmothers. I wanted to surpass every rite of passage and move into whatever it was that they possessed.
I had this intention, desire and goal that is taking me decades to attain.
My grandmothers exemplified a deep inner knowing and wisdom. They appeared to be comfortable in their own bodies, one a six-foot-tall fiery red headed cowgirl who road in rodeos and cussed like a sailor, the other barely making 5-foot, soft spoken and demure, yet worked the fields in between making biscuits, pan-fried potatoes and beans.
Their hands were worn and they had wisdom lines across their faces. They were born at the turn of the century, living through the 1918 pandemic and the Great Depression.
They told stories on the porch and at the kitchen table of witnessing their family flourish along with deep hardships and the losses. They were respected and admonished by their tribe.
What I did not have the words for then were that they characteristic crone archetypes.
Nurse Coaching Process
So, what might this story of yore have to do with nurse coaching?
It reflects on how where we begin brings us to where we are; our stories and our history is important. This is an abbreviated tale that correlates with how our nurse coaching process works.
Intentions and setting goals may be immediate, yet often are a process of vision, work and time.
We enter into nursing and a nurse coaching as healers. As I listen to multiple stories of nurse healers, I bear witness to the triumphs along with the deep hardships and losses. Many healers’ hearts and dreams have been broken in these times of peri-Covid vibrations. There is often confusion and disillusionment that began prior to the COVID crises, yet has come to full fruition.
I have not heard one soul state that this was part of their vision, intention, desire or goal in becoming a nurse.
As one enters into the nurse coaching tribe, there is a healing that begins to unfold when we find our way home. We find a tribe who genuinely hears us and teaches us how to heal.
Community Healing
My grandmothers were not nurses, yet they did their share of community healing. These strong beautiful women had their lives deterred and interrupted, having to change their course numerous times. Their people of all ages came to their porches to share their stories. They listened and laughed and cried together.
They held a space for each other.
My observation of what carried them through was their tribe, their ability to adapt to their changes and time to heal and recover: much like our tribe of nurse coaches.
My grandmothers did not request or deserve life’s challenges, nor do you. I do not believe that this is part of some grand plan. I believe sh*t happens.
What I do know is that we have tools with nurse coaching that they did not have and most likely my aging grandmothers had tools that we are lacking for healing.
Having the willingness to walk beside and learn from one another is what can create a healing bond. Knowing that we have a tribe to always fall back on is our healing balm.
Slowly, becoming the crone archetype reminds me that intentions set often take time and goals may have to change to adapt to our highest good. The course that originally set sail, may get turned upside down. Yet you remain healers with a purpose and a vision.
As I complete one more trip around the sun, I express gratitude to every nurse coach who has come before or after me. I ask that you remain brave and hopeful, even in your most vulnerable times. Take snapshots in your heart and soul of all of the joy that comes your way.
I pay homage to the crone archetype in my grandmothers and myself and I take solace in knowing that although my intentions, visions and goals may not happen overnight, we all have a tribe to walk this journey with and a legacy to pay forward.
Namaste
Pam Melson, MSN, RN, NC-BC
Pam Melson is a long-time activist and earth momma. Pam began her journey in holistic health care prior many years to her nursing career, serving as a lay midwife and natural healer in her community. She had been reticent to look to an allopathic medicine career, until delving into the life and times of Florence Nightingale. She discovered that Florence was, by all standards, the mother of holistic nursing care. This discovery ignited the motivation to attain an ADN from Oklahoma City Community College, BSN from Oklahoma Wesleyan University, and an MSN from Oklahoma Baptist University. Pam’s MSN research explored the efficacy of holistic self-care techniques in decreasing the risk of compassion fatigue and burnout in nursing. Pam attended the International Nurse Coach Association program and obtained her Board Certification from AHNCC as an Integrative Nurse Coach® in 2018. She completed the Commonweal Healing Circles certification in 2018.
Pam has been fortunate to be able to apply numerous holistic nursing modalities in her past nursing roles, psychiatric and hospice nursing, and diabetes education. She is currently a professor at Kramer School of Nursing, Oklahoma City University, teaching Community Health, Service Learning, Holistic, and International Health/Study Abroad classes. Pam conducts seminars with staff, faculty, students, and health care communities on burn out/compassion fatigue prevention, managing stress, meditation, therapeutic journaling, and motivational interviewing techniques.
Her greatest passions are spending time with her family, her friends, and Arlo the wonder dog. Pam is a free spirit and a life-long learner who loves traveling, cooking, hiking, gardening, making art, writing, and music.
